Remembering My Daddy Three Years Later
It has been three years to the day (actually, by the time this is published it will be 3 years and 1 day) since my precious daddy passed away, but the memories of him still occupy my mind the majority of every day. As I sit down to write this, I can’t help but feel a sense of both joy and sadness. Joy because I get to relive some of the beautiful moments we shared, and sadness because I know I can never get those moments back. And if I’m honest, the sadness is the stronger emotion.
Losing a loved one is one of the most challenging and painful experiences in life, and it’s something that sticks with you forever. However, remembering the good times helps alleviate some of the pain and can help make it easier to go on.
In this piece, I will be sharing some of my fondest memories of my daddy and how he continues to inspire me even in death.
So grab a tissue and join me on this emotional journey down memory lane.
The Impact of Losing a Loved One
Losing a loved one is a life-altering experience that changes you forever. The pain of losing someone close to you can be unbearable, and it can take years, or even a lifetime, to come to terms with the loss.
When my daddy passed away in my arms, it felt like a part of me died with him. I was devastated, and I didn’t know how to cope with the pain. I remember feeling lost and alone, and it seemed like the world around me had stopped moving. Everything felt surreal, and I couldn’t believe that he was gone. I didn’t think I would ever stop crying.
As time passed, I began to realize that the pain of losing someone never really goes away. It’s always there, lurking in the background, waiting to resurface at any moment. And it can resurface in the strangest places, like the grocery store or movie theater. And for me, every time I pass a golf course my eyes fill with tears.
But I also learned that it’s possible to find joy in the memories of the person you lost.
Remembering the good times can help ease the pain and make it easier to move forward.
Memories of My Daddy
My daddy was the most amazing human. He was kind and gentle and everyone who met him loved him. He always put others first in both his personal life and his professional life. When he would walk into a room the atmosphere shifted as he radiated a joy that is hard to explain.
I have so many wonderful memories of my daddy so it’s really hard to pick just one or two to share here.
My daddy loved to tell stories, and he had a way of making even the most mundane things sound interesting. I remember spending hours listening to him talk about his childhood, his adventures, and his dreams. He knew he had an amazing childhood and loved talking about it. Where many parents say they want their own children to have a better childhood then they had, my dad always said he wanted us to have the childhood he had.
He was a walking encyclopedia of trivia and the smartest person I knew. When my siblings and I were growing up, any time the electricity went out he would light the candles and share bits of information no one ever really needed to know…seriously, A LOT of useless trivia (though everyone wanted him on their team for Trivial Pursuit). But we always looked forward to those moments anyway. One thing that most people did not know was that he was amazing at making things up if he didn’t know the answer. But he said it with such conviction that you just knew it was the truth.
He and I traveled the world together. We would wash clothes in the hotel sink in Denmark, pay for two squares of toilet paper at a roadside toilet in Guatemala, and drink soda out of a plastic baggie in Honduras. We walked the Jack the Ripper tour in London, were almost decapitated taking a boat ride under a very low bridge in Sweden, enjoyed the most delicious meal where every course contained asparagus in Holland, and attended the University of Oslo, Norway one summer.
My daddy always preferred driving to flying (when traveling in the US) and he preferred the smaller roads to the interstates. We found some truly interesting places to visit. We toured Presidential museums, visited the Orphan Train, spent time in Little Sweden (in Kansas) and learned about the history of the circus. And I can’t even count how many times we visited Williamsburg, VA! Death by chocolate, anyone?
When traveling, one of our favorite things to do together was to get up early and walk around whatever city we were visiting. We always stopped in a local market and grab a baguette, a block of cheese, a bottle of soda, and a bag of cherries. We would find a park bench to sit on while we ate and watched people go about their daily lives. As we sat there, we would make up stories about where they were going based on how fast they walked and what they were wearing.
He and I traveled together for fun and work. We presented together at conferences around the world. We both specialized in working with people with disabilities. He would speak from a dental and public health standpoint and I would speak from an educational standpoint. Every time we would work together was such a blessing and joy. He was amazing at what he did, and everyone loved working with him.
When I graduated with my Ph.D., my precious Daddy was front and center. We even had our picture taken together in cap and gown.
The Importance of Remembering
Remembering the people we love is important because it keeps their memory alive. When we share stories and memories with others, we keep a part of them with us. It’s a way of honoring their legacy and keeping their spirit alive. When we remember the good times, we are reminded that even though they are no longer with us, their impact on our lives is still significant.
For me, remembering my daddy is a way of staying connected to him. Even though he’s no longer here in person, his memory lives on through the stories we share and the memories we cherish. It’s a way of keeping him close to my heart and never forgetting the love and joy he brought into my life.
I know it can be difficult to think of all of the happy times, especially when your heart hurts so much with grief. Believe me, I understand. As I sit here typing, I have tears flowing down my cheeks. But if you look carefully, you might see a hint of a smile as I remember all of the adventures we had.
Coping with Grief
Grief is a complex and challenging emotion to deal with. It can manifest itself in many different ways, and it’s different for everyone. When my daddy passed away, I felt like my world had come crashing down. I didn’t know how to cope with the pain, and I felt like I was drowning in my emotions.
One of the passions my daddy and I shared was our love for books. So, when he died I went to my books for comfort. I read about grief and loss and processing the pain (and there are many wonderful books about this topic). But I also read books that we enjoyed together. It took me back to our conversations about the different stories and the nights we would stay up all night reading and talking together.
Another thing that helped me cope was finding ways to honor my daddy’s memory. I started a memory box of all the memories we shared. I added photos, ticket stubs, and receipts…anything that reminded me of our adventures together. This blog and the books I have written are also a way that I can honor my daddy. Sharing my memories and possibly helping someone else grieve helps me honor him.
Doing something positive in his memory makes me feel like I am honoring his legacy and keeping his memory alive.
Celebrating My Daddy’s Life
When my daddy passed away, I realized that life is too short to waste a single moment. I wanted to celebrate his life and honor the person he was. So, I started planning a celebration of life ceremony, where family and friends could come together to remember him.
Unfortunately, COVID snuck in and postponed that celebration. My siblings and I still want to have this celebration and we are working on a new time and place to do so. And it means to world to me that so many people continue to ask when we will have this celebration. He meant a lot to so many people.
Learning to Live Without My Daddy
Learning to live without my daddy has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life. There are days when the pain of his loss is still raw, and it feels like I’ll never be able to move on. But I’ve learned that it’s possible to find joy in the memories of the person you lost.
I’ve also learned that it’s okay to grieve in my way and on my timeline. I’ve taken the time to process my emotions, and I’ve found healthy ways to cope with my grief. Whether it’s through volunteering, writing, or spending time with loved ones, I’ve found ways to honor my daddy’s memory and keep him close to my heart.
Finding Support in Family and Friends
When my daddy passed away, I realized that I couldn’t go through the grieving process alone. I needed the support of my family and friends to help me through the difficult times. They were there to listen, to offer a shoulder to cry on, and to remind me that I wasn’t alone. Even though we all process things in our own way, we all share the same loss. We are always there to listen to each other. In fact, we checked on each other today to make sure everyone was okay.
Finding support in others who have gone through a similar experience has been invaluable to me. It’s helped me to realize that what I’m feeling is normal and that it’s okay to grieve in my way. It’s also reminded me that there is still love and joy in the world, even in the midst of my pain.
Honoring My Daddy’s Legacy
Honoring my daddy’s legacy is something that’s important to me. I want to keep his memory alive and make sure that his impact on the world is never forgotten. Whether it’s through teaching, sharing stories, or simply living my life in a way that honors his memory, I know that he’ll always be with me.
Conclusion
In conclusion, remembering my daddy three years later has been an emotional journey. It’s been filled with both joy and sadness, but I’ve learned that remembering the good times helps alleviate the pain. My daddy’s memory will always be with me, and it’s something that I cherish dearly.
Losing a loved one is never easy, but it’s possible to find joy in remembering the person you lost. Whether it’s through sharing stories, finding healthy ways to cope with grief, or honoring their legacy, there are ways to keep their memory alive.
