Planet Grief

Planet Grief by Monique Polak

children, 8-12 years

What a crappy way to spend a weekend. The always-sarcastic Abby would rather be playing soccer, and the cagily quiet Christopher thinks a grief retreat is a waste of time. Neither of them wants to spend two days talking about their feelings. But despite their best efforts to stay aloof, Abby and Christopher are drawn into the lives of the other kids at the retreat. Maybe their stories will make them rethink how they are dealing with their own losses.

Keeping loss and grief a secret is a burden…

Loss is difficult to understand. Someone we love is there and then they are not there. This concept is challenging for adults and can be especially challenging for children and youth to understand. I picked up this book in order to explore grief from the point of view of youth.

Planet Grief follows Christopher and Abbey as they attend a weekend grief retreat. Each youth is dealing with his/her own grief and guilt over the loss of a parent, one from suicide and one from illness.

Eugene is the lead counselor with his own story of grief. Throughout the retreat Eugene teaches the youth important lessons about allowing themselves to grieve. He talks about the “could have, would have, should have and what ifs” that always arise with the loss of a loved one. He tells the youth not to second guess their actions as they made the best decisions they could at the time with the information they had.

Crying lets the sadness out…

During the retreat, the youth go through a number of exercises that are meant to help them work through their grief. One of the first exercises is a 20-minute silent walk outside. Eugene tells the youth that the walk is a way to give their minds a rest and tune into themselves. A second exercise has two parts. The first part requires the group to design a mask from the outside…that part that everyone sees, the face they show to others. The second part is to design the mask from the inside…that part that they keep inside and no one really sees; the person they are when they are not wearing the outside mask. The third exercise has the youth writing a letter to the person who died.

The book also has some twists along the way, with mystery participants and a health scare. This keeps the readers attention and breaks up the intense feelings shared in the story.

Planet Grief is well-written and addresses many of the feelings that people experience when confronted with loss. The exercises that the youth engage in during the grief retreat are quite helpful in getting all the feelings out that are often stuck inside. I plan on engaging in these exercises myself.

Recommendation

I recommend this book to anyone experiencing grief, whether youth or adult. The author suggests some powerful exercises that would benefit anyone who is experiencing a loss. My youngest just turned 10 and enjoyed the story, but I am not sure she “got” the intended lessons. However, my 12 year old walked away with a better understanding of her feelings, and that her feelings are normal and ok.