Why I’m Going Through Life With The Low Beams On

One winter, many years ago, I was driving to Virginia to spend Christmas with my dad and my siblings. I was not married at the time so I did not have to worry about getting other people ready for the trip. It was much easier traveling then. I packed up the Christmas cookies and gifts, along with my puppy, and headed east.

About 3 hours into the drive, the snow started falling fast and heavy.

You know those snowstorms when you can barely see the front of your car? The storms when you put on your hazard lights and slow wwwwaaaayyyy down? The kind when exit and entrance ramps are closed because the roads are so dangerous?

It was one of those storms!

During the drive I was sitting forward in my seat, hugging the steering wheel. The radio was off so all of my senses were focused on the road. I was praying REALLY hard for the storm to slow down and an exit to be open so I could get off the interstate.

High Beams

I turned on my high beams with the hope of better seeing the road and the cars around me. And guess what? It didn’t help. The bright lights actually made it harder for me to see.

Generally speaking, low beams provide light for about 200-300 feet. High beams provide light for about 350-500 feet. But in certain weather conditions, the high beams actually make it harder to see.

High beams are aimed higher (seems logical) and the light bounces off fog, raindrops, and snowflakes making it harder to see what is in front of you. Imagine millions of tiny mirrors reflecting back into your eyes reducing your ability to see.

I’m pretty sure the stress of it all had me in tears. And that certainly didn’t help matters.

Fast forward a number of years and I am married with children of my own. We moved into a new home and my precious daddy moved in with us. I was so excited and planned on spending many many many years together.

Soon after he moved in, though, he developed pneumonia and ended up in the hospital. And guess what? I wanted to flip on the high beams and see what would happen. I wanted to know the outcome. I wanted to know when he would be better and we could go on more adventures together.

Often I wonder what it would be like to go through life with the high beams on. I would be able to see everything more clearly. I could see what was coming at me from all sides. I could prepare for whatever would come my way.

Wouldn’t that be great!?!

I’m not so sure. Would I be able to handle seeing everything coming at me all at once? Things coming straight on and things flying in from the side? Would I be overwhelmed with all of it? Would I even be able to function?

If I had known what would happen not long after my daddy moved in, would I have been able to enjoy every day with him? Or would I have been so focused on the end result that I would have wasted those days mourning what was coming?

Low Beams

I did eventually get to my dad’s house safely all those years ago. And I learned a valuable lesson in the process. Though sometimes the high beams help point out a danger along the way, living with the high beams on would likely be too overwhelming to truly live.

I do not want to miss the day to day events that my low beams illuminate. I think I’ll go through life with my low beams on, just seeing what I need to see.