A Tribute to My Daddy
I had to do something recently that I was not prepared to do. Mentally, emotionally, physically…I was just NOT prepared. Although, I’m not sure there really is any way to prepare. My task was to write an obituary for my precious Daddy.
How does one go about writing an obituary for their daddy?!? How does one go about writing an obituary for a child? Or friend? Or Sibling? It’s just plain ole’ hard.
So, like any good educator, I did my research. I opened my computer and typed “how to write an obituary” and BAM! There were so many different thoughts and ideas: just the facts, serious, humorous, irreverent, with pictures, without pictures. It was a bit overwhelming.
The facts seemed like the safest and easiest way to go. I was emotionally raw and I wasn’t sure that I was ready to expose the wound in my heart. So when I started writing I began by listing the facts. Name, date of birth, city of birth…
I quickly decided that the facts just didn’t capture my dad. He was so much more than dates and locations. I wanted people reading his obituary to get a glimpse of how completely amazing he was and the incredible legacy that he left.
My fingers started typing and this is what came out…
Gourmet cook, avid golfer, Grinch-extraordinaire, and all-around-wonderful person, Frank H. Farrington passed away on April 10, 2020, at the young age of 80. He was born on April 2, 1940 in Chicago, IL and passed away at home in Chattanooga, TN clasping his daughter’s hand. The world mourned his passing with a severe storm and earth-shattering tornado.
Frank, known to many as Daddyman, was preceded in death by his one true love, Vicki Winding Farrington, and his parents Joseph Davis and Sonja Nordenfeldt Farrington. He is survived by his children, Joe Farrington (Elaine), Kim Swedberg (Dale), Rob Farrington (Stacy), and Kristin Gaulin (Justin); his brother, David Farrington (Courtney); seven grandchildren; two great grandchildren; and many people whose lives he touched over the years.
Daddyman never met a stranger. He always said that he was an introvert who loved being around people. He was incredibly well read and extraordinarily smart. He was a master with trivia and everyone always wanted him on their team. He was the designated “phone a friend” to countless people.
My Daddy proudly served his country by enlisting in the Navy during the Vietnam War. He served as lay-pastor and dentist on his ship, the USS Cavalier. He told many stories of traveling from one ship to another in a cage supported by ropes in order to perform root canals and other dental procedures. He also learned an important, but painful, lesson during his rotation in the galley that he passed on to his children: never leave a sharp knife in soapy water in the sink.
Daddyman continued his distinguished career as a Pediatric Dentist in WI, SC, and VA, with the majority of his career spent at the Medical College of Virginia-Virginia Commonwealth University (Richmond, Virginia) as Chairman of the Department of Pediatric Dentistry.
My precious Daddy helped anyone who asked. Many years ago, a mom seeking help for her son sent letters to dentists around the country asking for help. Daddyman responded without hesitation, and the National Foundation for Ectodermal Dysplasias (NFED) became a huge part of his life. Family conferences and medical advisory meetings took him across the country and around the world.
Daddyman was Swedish by heritage. His mother was born in Sweden and brought to the United States as an infant. He loved all things Swedish, especially Viking horns, eating herring on New Year’s Eve and Lutefisk. One of his favorite shirts stated, “It’s not a party until the Swedish meatballs show up.” He traveled to Sweden a couple of times, for business and for pleasure, and enjoyed walking the streets of his ancestors. He recently began researching his family heritage with his son-in-law.
My Dad felt truly at peace while on the golf course. Whether on the driving range, putting green, or playing 18 holes, Daddyman found great joy in the sport of hitting a tiny white ball with a long narrow stick. He also loved coaching youth, teaching his grandsons, and cultivating a love for the sport in others. He was a much-loved addition to the Brandermill Country Club, Oasis Sports Park, and any number of courses around the country.
After much begging from his oldest daughter, Daddyman moved to Chattanooga, TN in May of 2019. His two requirements included his own bathroom and a door to close when he needed a break from his grandkids. His door always remained open.
Daddyman was a true friend and touched the lives of countless people. He loved his family fiercely, and proudly talked about his children and grandchildren to anyone who would listen.
Growing up in Chicago, my Dad loved going to baseball games with his brother. He often shared stories of watching the Cubs and the Bears. Most of the games were played at Wrigley field and they were frozen solid before the games even began. He was also a proud shareholder/owner of the Green Bay Packers. He wore his cheese head with delight and cheered on his team with exuberance. Go Pack Go!!
Daddyman enjoyed seeing flowers blooming outside rather than sitting in a vase. He would ask that, in lieu of flowers, donations be made to the NFED, 6 Executive Dr. Ste. 2, Fairview Heights, IL 62208-1360 (618-566-2020).
A celebration of his life will be held in Richmond, VA once the world heals from the Coronavirus and social distancing is a thing of the past. This also gives his family time to find a space big enough to hold all of the people who share in their loss.
That’s my amazing dad!! Life will NEVER be the same without him. But, I hope by sharing stories and lessons learned along the way, I can find comfort and healing. And I wish the same for you.
Love, love, love this! What a fantastic tribute to your sweet dad!!!
Thank you, Tammy!! He was pretty fantastic for sure. I miss him every day.
My dad will turn 82 in a few months. His time is short here and my time to write will come soon. Thank you for sharing the life of such a beautiful person who clearly impacted his world in a powerful and meaningful way. You have given me great insight and inspiration for when my time comes. Your dad would be proud of how you have honored him.
Thank you, Jerry. Enjoy all the time you have with your dad!! It goes by too quickly.
Oh this was terrific! I never met him but feel like I have known him forever. Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you so much, Mary. That is exactly how I wanted everyone to feel.
This was a great tribute to your dad. I’m so sorry about his passing, but so happy that you got to love on him while he was here.
Thank you, Amie. He lived with me this past year so I got to love on him daily.
Truly FANTASTIC blog Kim! Did I know your father was born in Chicago like my family? Your dad was Swedish, like my mom and ate herring on New Year’s Day? I guess that wouldn’t be “stuff” young kids would talk about growing up as friends?!?
I am so glad that you have written these wonderful things about your father-he was such a teddy bear 🧸
❤️XOX
We’ve been friends forever…how did we not know!?! We always had to do the herring thing. I would take the smallest piece of herring and the largest cracker.
Kim, this was absolutely beautifully written and a perfect tribute to a wonderful man. So glad I was able to get to know him even for a bit. ♥️
Thank you, Jenn. I’m glad you got to know him, too!!
Losing a parent is anguishing! I lost my own father almost 15 years ago. I was in my early 20’s and on a church mission in Brazil. Grief is so hard and there really isn’t a “right” way to do it, just as long as you keep moving through all your emotions. What a blessing to have such a man as your father! Real Fatherhood and Manhood are being lost these days. Thankfully I had a fantastic father too. I still miss him, I’ve just slowly gotten used to it. I hope you feel comforted as you mourn such a loss and that you feel him near. Hugs!
Thank you for your kind words, Mindy. I lost my mom in my early 20’s. It doesn’t get any easier with age. It is just hard!! I’m allowing myself to feel whatever I’m feeling. Some days are better than others for sure. And I agree…real fathers are hard to come by. I am so grateful that I had such as amazing dad and that my kids have an amazing dad now.
What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Loved all the fun stories. What an amazing man. I’m so thankful to still have my dad around although my parent’s don’t live close by and he’s had some health issues lately but he’s pretty amazing too. We are truly blessed.
Thank you for the kind words, Angie. I agree…we are most definitely blessed!! My Daddy was my role model and my best friend. I pray good health for your dad and that you can make more happy memories together.
What a wonderful tribute to your father. You can tell from this post that he was well loved and respected and that he had a positive, lasting impact on your life and who you are.
Thank you, Jean. He was definitely loved. He has always been my role model and I followed in his footsteps as an educator.
I feel like I know your dad because you’ve done great by honoring his memory with these beautiful words. My dad is still alive, but I know how hard it is to write about people who passed away. I lost my first husband in a car crash when our son was one year old. Then my son was murdered when he was only nineteen. I had to write both obituaries, and it was hard.
Thank you for your kind words. I never realized how hard it would be until I had to write one myself…it has always been someone else’s task. I am sorry to hear about your losses. I can’t even imagine.
I lost my grandfather last year. We weren’t able to mourn together as a family because of Covid. It was a really hard time. This tribute was beautiful. I’m happy to hear that you were able to mourn in your own way.
I am so sorry for your loss. COVID made it challenging for us to mourn, as well. COVID has definitely changed things.
What a touching tribute to a someone who sounds like a wonderful man. I feel blessed just to have read this and to be connected to such a great parent in this small way. Hoping for peace as you mourn his loss and sending you my best wishes.
Thank you, Kristin. He could light up a room just by walking in it.
Wow! What a lovely tribute to your daddy. Reading this made me feel like I wish I could have met him. He sounds like a wonderful man who was a light in this world.
Thank you so much!! He was definitely one of a kind. We need more people like him in this world.