Grieving Through the Holidays
Facing the First Season Without The Person You Love
The holidays are often painted as a time of joy, warmth, and togetherness. But when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, the season can feel anything but bright. Instead of excitement, there’s a deep ache. Instead of looking forward to traditions, you may find yourself dreading them. And sometimes, the hardest moments are the small, everyday things—like setting the table and realizing there’s one less plate.
If this is your first holiday without someone you love, it’s okay if you’re struggling. Grief doesn’t follow a schedule, and it certainly doesn’t take a holiday. This season may bring unexpected waves of sadness, nostalgia, or even guilt for moments of happiness. All of that is normal.
Navigating the Holidays with Grief
Grief doesn’t come with a rulebook, but here are some things to keep in mind as you move through this season:
1. It’s Okay to Change Traditions
Some traditions may feel comforting, while others might be too painful to continue right now. Give yourself permission to do what feels right for you. Maybe you light a candle in their honor, set aside a moment to share memories, or create a new tradition that helps you feel connected to them in a different way.
2. You Don’t Have to Pretend You’re Okay
You don’t have to put on a brave face for others. If you feel sad, let yourself grieve. If you need to step away from a gathering for a quiet moment, that’s okay. Let your emotions come as they are, without judgment.
3. Say No Without Guilt
The pressure to attend holiday events can feel overwhelming when you’re grieving. If you’re not up for a big family gathering or a holiday party, it’s okay to decline. You don’t owe anyone an explanation beyond what you’re comfortable sharing.
4. Find Small Ways to Honor Their Memory
Whether it’s placing a special ornament on the tree, cooking their favorite dish, or playing a song they loved, honoring their memory can be a meaningful way to keep them close.
5. Reach Out for Support
Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s talking to a close friend, joining a support group, or simply letting someone know you’re having a tough time, reaching out can help ease the burden.
You Are Not Alone
The first holiday season without a loved one is undeniably difficult. But grief is love that hasn’t faded—it’s just taken a different form. Give yourself grace. Allow yourself to feel. And know that whatever this season looks like for you, it’s okay.
If you know someone who experiences grief during the holidays this year, a simple “I’m thinking of you” can mean the world. Sometimes, the greatest gift we can offer is simply letting someone know they are not alone.
How are you navigating the holidays this year? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’re in this together. 💙
If you find yourself facing all of the first holidays since your loved one has died, keep reading for more…
Setting the Table with One Less Chair – Preparing holiday meals and realizing there’s an empty chair at the table, making their absence feel even heavier.
Receiving Holiday Cards Addressed to Both of You – Getting mail with their name still on it, reminding you of the life you shared and the people who don’t yet know about your loss.
Hearing Their Favorite Holiday Song – Whether on the radio or in a store, a song they loved comes on unexpectedly, bringing back a flood of memories and emotions.
Avoiding Social Gatherings – Struggling with invitations to holiday parties or family events, torn between wanting to be included and feeling too overwhelmed to attend.
Buying Gifts Without Them – Shopping for the holidays and instinctively looking for a gift they would have loved before painfully remembering they’re gone.
Old Traditions Feeling Different – Carrying on holiday traditions that feel hollow without them, or debating whether to change things up to ease the pain.
Waking Up to a Silent Christmas Morning – If they were the first to wish you happy holidays or wake you with excitement, the silence feels deafening.
Overcompensating for Others – Feeling the need to stay strong for children, family, or friends, even when your heart is breaking inside.
Navigating Well-Meaning but Painful Conversations – Dealing with family and friends who try to comfort you but sometimes say things that make the pain worse.
Dreading the New Year – Facing the realization that you’re stepping into a new year without them, and feeling torn between moving forward and holding on.
