Preparing for Loss

Dear Daddyman,

My dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer a few months ago, and now he’s in hospice care. The doctors say it could be weeks or even days. I’ve never lost someone this close to me before, and I don’t know how to prepare for what’s coming, how to prepare for the loss. I want to be there for him, but every time I sit by his bed, I feel frozen—like I don’t know what to say or do.

I also worry about what happens after. I’m scared of the grief, scared of losing my anchor, and scared I won’t be strong enough for my family when they need me. How do I get ready to say goodbye?

Devastated and Scared

Dear Devastated,

First, take a deep breath. What you’re facing is one of the hardest things a person can go through—watching someone you love fade while the world keeps turning as if nothing has changed. But for you, everything is changing, and it’s okay to feel scared, frozen, or even unsure of how to prepare for the coming loss.

Being with your dad in these final days doesn’t mean having the perfect words. Sometimes, presence is enough. Hold his hand. Sit beside him. Play his favorite music or read aloud something he loves. If there are things you want to say—love, gratitude, even unspoken apologies—say them now. And if words fail you, that’s okay, too. Love doesn’t always need language.

As for what happens after, grief is not something to brace for like a storm; it’s something you learn to carry. You don’t have to be strong for everyone—just present. Let yourself feel. Let others hold you up when you need it. And most of all, remember that grief exists because love does. Your dad’s love isn’t disappearing; it’s becoming something different—woven into you, your memories, and the stories you will carry forward.

You are not alone in this. Be gentle with yourself.

Daddyman

“Grief exists because love does.”