9 Things to Include When Writing an Obituary

I recently found myself in the position of having to write an obituary, and I had no idea where to start. I didn’t especially relish the task but it had to be done. And since I wasn’t in the habit of reading obits in the newspaper I just sat staring at a blank page. I read them more when I was younger but I found them kind of depressing. Sometimes there were funny stories or bits of wisdom but more often than not they just contained the basic facts about the person’s life. After seeing the cost of publishing an obituary, I see why.

The first thing I did was a quick search on how to write an obituary. I found some helpful sites, many of which were from funeral homes. I found a few templates in which to just fill in the blanks. No matter the style, they all seemed to have several things in common.

Information to Include

Writing an obituary is a very personal experience and can be done in many different ways. Whether serious or funny, some information needs to be included.

Name of deceased- this includes nicknames, maiden name, or any other way in which the person might be know.

Date and place of birth (age)– if there is concern about identity theft, the specific date can be left out

Date and place of death

Cause of death– this is optional, but it seems people like to read about this

Family– any predeceased and surviving family members (parents, children, spouse, siblings, etc.)

Memories– this can include life events, interesting facts, military service, honors and awards

Donations or Flowers– identify any organization(s) to which donations or flowers can be sent

Time and place of funeral or memorial service– include funeral home or cemetery address and other contact information

Photo – a photo of the loved one who passed

(Do Not Include: Personal addresses or phone numbers for security reasons)

Importance of Writing an Obituary

After writing the first version of my dad’s obituary (and experiencing the sticker shock of $2000.00), I really wasn’t sure I could shorten it while still having it say what I wanted it to say. I put it off for quite a while. So long, in fact, that people kept asking me when, or if, his obituary would ever be in the paper. I wasn’t convinced it was necessary. I mean, I had already written a tribute and I was going to share it with people who knew my dad. But given the cost to publish I didn’t see the need.

Until…I got a phone call.

Reasons to Post an Obituary

1. Proof of Passing: One of the physicians who cared for my dad when he was in the hospital called about an overdue bill. I explained to the business manager that my dad had passed away and that, until his accounts were settled, I could not pay the bill. She asked if his obit was posted anywhere because she could use that as proof of his passing without asking me to send in a copy of his death certificate.
2. A Brief History: While an obituary doesn’t necessarily give you a lot of space to write (depending on the amount of money that you are able to spend), many people like to share honors, awards, or military service in the write-up. My daddy, for example, served in the Navy in Vietnam. That is not necessarily something that a lot of people knew because he did not often talk about his years of service. But, that is part of his history and it should be honored.
3. Genealogy: My husband is interested in genealogy and tracing the roots of both sides of our family. Over the years he has been able to use obituaries from different parts of the world to add to our family tree. These obituaries can provide a link to people, names, and places of which we were not aware.
4. Inform the Community: Though social media makes the world a lot smaller these days, not everyone uses it (gasp!). Many people still read the paper, however, and it seems like the older you get the more closely you read the obituary section for people you know. This is still an effective way to share the news with the community at large and a way for the community to support the family during a very painful time.